Day 39

How can I have dry skin on top of pimples, at the same time? That doesn’t seem possible or fair. Of course, I didn’t discover this until after I’d left the house, since I didn’t bother to look in a mirror before I left. Sometimes I think of how awful it would be to have to look at me all the time, like the secret footage from What Not To Wear. I can imagine trying to rationalize with Stacy & Clinton.. “but yoga pants are SO comfortable”.. “well, I don’t think anyone else really notices all those paint splatters”. People always say that when you get married, you let yourself go, and it’s true to a degree for me. I’m comfortable and happy with my man, so some days I don’t even bust out the eyebrow wax to fix my Whoopi Goldberg situation.

Though married, Rob and I have no plans to procreate. I am infinitely thankful that my mother was willing to make and raise me, because I know that I don’t have the patience to return that favor to the gene pool. I was picking up a few more groceries sans the superbowl crowd today, and in the tiny organic produce section at Raley’s, some child was pulling down the yellow plastic bags like he was gathering supplies for a nuclear holocaust. I can’t really blame him, since we try to get extra items with a solid shelf-life for our own apocalypse pantry on every shopping trip, but honestly- we all know organic produce would hardly last a week, even if he’s got those rad ‘green bags’ in his family’s bomb shelter.

So I stood there making a concerted effort not to make “I hate your child” face, as I often do, but a good peeved minute passed while mom chatted with her future-hoarder child and I stood there holding bananas and looking at the bags. You have to use the yellow ones for the organic items, and I tend to follow these kinds of rules because I am a law-abiding citizen, otherwise I would have walked angrily around them with precision like I used to do when I was cocktailing and had to dodge drunken idiots.

So I said, “I need to grab a bag” with pained politeness, and the mama said “oh, he needs to count to ten”. I’m pretty sure I gave her a look that said “your child could stretch a finish line for a cruise ship race with that trail of bags, lady”, and she stopped him. By this time, one of the employees stocking supplies had stopped to glare at her, which made me feel validated. It’s the little things.

I think today’s painting on canvas panel was somehow inspired by the transparency of yellow bags with writing over green things and thoughts of fields growing veggies that I hope will remain organic and non-GMO and available to me. Visit for information on how to stay informed about proposed changes to food & drug laws and shortcuts to send letters to your representatives about them.

Also, I am officially adding a page for “ArtProject2010 in the Press” today, thanks to a wonderful review/profile by Portland-based artist DaogreerEarthWorks on their blog. Visit the Etsy shop for DaogreerEarthWorks here. Thanks!

3 thoughts on “Day 39

  1. Yay for press! 🙂

    Ok, I have to confess now…the only child I really *LIKE* is my own…and mostly because he skipped the whole “child” phase. He went straight from baby to 40-year old man. Ok, I’m sure I’d like him regardless, but he is the bomb-diggity while all those other dirt grubbers out there are simply not.

    Thanks for this post. Your writing style always makes me smile. 🙂


  2. Reina says:

    My child is pretty awesome and thinks youre super cool too. Here is an example of how she thinks youre rad. This year her teacher said that they are not allowed to pass out valentines cards to the class if they are those cheap super hero, or Barbie ones and you just write a name on it. He said if you are going to bring valentines day cards for the class they all have to be personalized with a “rhyme” about the person or a compliment and they have to be hand made.

    So of course Ro was like…”Can you call Marianne and ask her for some ideas because I dont want to just cut out a bunch of stupid hearts. Plus, there are some kids in class that I really cant stand and I want to write something funny about them and be a little bit mean but nice enough that I wont get in trouble.” LOL–yes she really said that.
    I have shown her your blog and she read some of the funny posts and that they were hilarious.
    Very beautiful painting-very the colors.


  3. bluebicicletta says:

    Congrats on the writeup! I’ll have to go check it out! This post is hilarious. I love your daily anecdotes! Also, while we do love kids, my husband and I often talk about how when we see kids, all we can think is “thank god I don’t have any kids right now.” I’m not sure if this feeling will ever change, but I salute your choice!


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