Day 14

I decided to do this project shortly after being informed by my employer in early December that our office was closing in late January. Initially, I was excited at the opportunity to be out of the soul-killing office environment (an artist trapped behind a desk making sales calls is not what I would call fulfillment). However, as the days wore on, the little perks disappeared. The threats that our retention bonuses (i.e. financial incentive to remain on board for the next two months) would be pulled out from under us if we allowed our crushed spirits to reflect in our work ethic continued.

I know there are only 2 weeks left, but each day is more difficult. Each day is longer. It’s like being in line at the DMV and there are only two people ahead of you.. two people and that’s it.. you’re almost there.. but you’re standing in line for AN HOUR, A FRIKIN HOUR AND IT DOESN’T MOVE, WHY?!?! WHY?!! It’s like that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is in the subway on her way to that wedding and it stops and she’s stuck in there freaking out mentally for hours. Except that the freakout is two months long.

So this morning I was feeling good because I got a couple of sales, and accounting rejected my purchase orders. I’m trying so hard to keep dragging my ass in there and making sales for these bastards, and some other people who are getting axed at the end of the month find the need to fight me. Then I had to go to the lady doctor, which no one ever wants to do, before my health insurance disappears, and dinner didn’t get finished until very late, and when I tried to paint something, this happened:

And it wasn’t working. I felt so overwhelmed. I didn’t feel inspired, I didn’t feel excited. I wanted a piece of dark chocolate and some comedy before I had to do it all again tomorrow- which is when I thought of Nicole.

Today’s piece is inspired by the art and wisdom of Nicole Docimo, an artist, illustrator and writer based in Davis, CA. Nicole has a very clear aesthetic; she is apparently in love with the power of black ink on white paper, and she shares my love of words. With this focus, she tends to create pieces that do something magic when I look at them- they let my mind rest. They are beautiful and evocative, but also simple and strong in their simplicity. They are like a deep breath.

Nothing could signify how I’m feeling better than a knot. The black and white expresses my desire for simplicity. We all need it now and then. Nicole’s art & blog (BlueBicicletta.Wordpress.com if that link doesn’t work for you) is a great place to get it. Thanks for the inspiration, Nicole!

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One thought on “Day 14

  1. bluebicicletta says:

    Oh, I’m so glad I could give you a breath and some inspiration! We all need to stick together, big time. I can totally imagine how hard it is to go into work every day right now—I’ve had that sinking, dragging my ass, wanting to run from the parking lot screaming feeling too many times to count! The fact that you keep showing up in the art studio and making something and sharing your creativity every day is an inspiration to me! When all else fails, when you’re sitting at work with a case of the mean reds, imagine your co-workers in a really bad musical. This worked for me once—imagining my boss singing and leaping across the floor. It at least gave me a little laugh. I know–I’m weird, but you gotta do what you gotta do to make it tolerable. Also, I started taking drawing breaks at work. That helped a little too.

    Like

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